More Than A Word...

CANCER is medically defined by three malignant properties, i.e. in which cells are aggressive (actively growing and dividing beyond normal limits), invasive (destroying adjacent tissues) and sometimes metastatic (spreading to other locations in the body). These are the three malignant properties of cancers which differentiates them from benign tumors.

It is terrifying to know the aetiology of this disease. A disease which claimed the lives of 7.6 million people worldwide in 2007. Silently, its' hyperactive growth and invasive nature spreads in one's body. The question is how can our cells be capable of such a deadly scheme?

-Carcinogens? Includes tobacco smoke, radiation, chemicals or infectious agents, damaging the genome or disrupting the cellular metabolic processes. Basically the growth of cells is no longer controlled and damaged cells are not able to undergo programmed cell death hence ultimately leading to the formation of tumours.

- Errors in DNA replication/ inherited? Present in all cells from birth.

Medical terms, abbreviations and procedures may go on and on. But it really is more than that. What does it really mean to the person and his/her family? It's more than definitions of man-discovering words.

Coping with the complexity of the disease and dealing with the consequences after the diagnosis. Painstakingly accepting the fact of a defined disease stage, ranging from 1-4, which in turn decides one's survival time, ranging from few months to years. Shockingly trying to digest the options available and not wasting anymore time in 'launching' the body to the much invasive treatment, eradicating these 'bad cells'.

To put an optimistic front in conquering the disease and desiring to prevail victoriously. It has been believed that one's determination is part of the regime. A zest of hope adds on to the survival rate. The draining effect of the regime may hit one to his or her inner-core being but one can only take the treatment one cycle at a time. Difficult to put in words - the anguish in awaiting for the unpredictable outcome.

Surrounding people trying to comprehend the emotions, the loss of physical strength and the tanglement of the minds of the patient but certainly fails to fully understand. Just be there. Mere presence speaks and acts more than one can imagine.

Am continuing to pray for the healing and comfort of those fighting this disease. It encompasses more than a medical word.

Heart-y Moments In Life

She's finally decided and her choice leaves me heavy hearted. But it's a wise decision - to be passionate about something and to pursue it against all odds. Go for it! Yes, it meant leaving the comfort zone of home and adapting to a foreign place - but it's just a matter of sooner or later. Yes, it's a dream that calls for strength and determination but am sure she has what it takes.

Time is passing us by,
A void in my heart hastily
wells up with tears in my eyes,
'Good-byes' we bid
but heavy hearted-ly I let go,
Stand! Be strong my head says
but the heart relents to quite the contrary.

Time is passing us by,
A battle from within begins,
O' why! Surrender to the peace to come,
Distance will not hinder
as hearts meet when not at sight,
Knitted in bonds and knots
of love, as strong as one can be.

She'll be fine, this I know, for He is watching over her.
She'll be good, this I am sure, for she has us whom she can run to.
To our dearest ma; strength, comfort and wisdom is to come.

God is BIG enough...

Someone said the following last night and it has been in my mind since then:

"God is big enough to carry all of our mistakes. Whatever a decision one has to make, there are the practical questions which one may ask, e.g.

• Is this (whatever it may be) honoring Him?
• Does it bring better prospect?
• What is your preference if all options are right before Him?

We are all looking for that magical answer - a specific direction. We are so caught up and troubled by the motion of THE answer and not realise that after considering it all, and a decision is to be made, God is ever faithful and able to carry us through. Importantly, do not let your feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction take charge of your decision - it may not be the best decision made. When in desolation, one should not make a decision to move but it is best to stay put because the decision made at that point of time may not be the best one. You will eventually reach equilibrium and when you do, you will know what to do."

Thank you Pastor Ting.

An Emotion-ful Year

A friend shared with me on exiting a year (2007) well and to enter the new year (2008) well. How did I exit 2007?

Well... to be honest.

Not as good as one should have exited. Still carrying on my back, as it clings on to me like a 'monkey' - the burdens of outstanding issues for the year. The disappointments and anguish lingers in my heart and the blurry sense of direction still unclear in my head. I cried buckets on the eve and the first day of the new year. Why? I've no idea - just building up of emotions (could be PMS) and disheartening real-life family stories taking over me. Just pray that all will be well. Specifically:-

1. To depend on HIM more and more - desiring to be walking closely with HIM.
2. Clear direction in my career. Wanting so much to have the drive to work once again! Desperately in search for a job which is both motivating and satisfying.
3. To be passionate about something and work towards it. Writing?
4. To be a more joyful person - JOYOUSly going through everyday.
5. To have a clean bill of health.
6. For Realisation, Resolution & Reconciliation.

Entering year 2008...

On top of the extra burden carried forward, am starting out the new year with a travel to Ho Chi Minh City. Not sure why but the travel-o-phobia bug has returned... hence the nerves and mood swings.

Full of anticipation as I enter year 2008. Wanting so much for a breakthrough from all that is 'eating' me up both mentally and emotionally. Life still goes on and this time round, I hope it's for more of the UPS and less on the DOWNS. :)

Year 2008, here I come, bravely embracing you!